Jocelyn Gordon offers a view of Motherhood inside a "wide hoop of compassion". In this interview, we chat about the dance of balance, maintaining boundaries, and how her two daughters have been a blessing to her.
Jocelyn Gordon offers a view of Motherhood inside a "wide hoop of compassion". In this interview, we chat about the dance of balance, maintaining boundaries, and how her two daughters have been a blessing to her.
Called a "Yoga Rebel" by Yoga Journal Magazine, Jocelyn Gordon is known for her joyful integrations of dance, yoga, and meditation - HoopYogini™ and Bhakti Boogie Yoga. She has toured nationally with Wanderlust, is a six-time presenter at the Bali Spirit Festival, has worked with Academy Award-winning actresses Halle Berry and Marisa Tomei, and was recently featured on Apple News as the Meditation Guide for the Essence Magazine Virtual Wellness House. The mother of two young queens and an advocate for peaceful birth, maternal and infant wellbeing, Jocelyn supports birthing people in up-leveling their health before pregnancy. As The Course Doula, Jocelyn coaches healers and movement educators to create their first online course and teacher training programs. Her work supports women with fertility, embodiment, and leadership. Visit www.HoopYogini.com/links to schedule a free 20-minute Alignment Session to explore one-to-one coaching.
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Jeannette : [00:00:00] Peace and innumerable blessings. My name is Jeanette Lancien and welcome, welcome welcome to the spirituality and motherhood podcast, where we're going to explore different ways of honoring your spiritual path, your spiritual gifts and your divine connection while being a mama. My intention is to support you in your spiritual path gifts in divine connection, by sharing the wisdom and the experiences of other mothers who are on the path just like you.
So you don't have to do this alone. We're here with you. I come to this podcast as the mother of two boys ages four and seven there was a birthday. Woo. A psychic, a root worker, a hoodoo, a tree talker and a lay herbalist. I also come to you as an entrepreneur I run a website called simple weekly ritual where I offer full and new moon ritual via a newsletter, to support you, your kids in working full and new moon energy because everybody deserves
goodness. And I personally want to be a part of it. Let's get into this, this, this podcast right. You guuuuyyysss I'm so excited this podcast. So this, this episode features an interview of the amazing Jocelyn Gordon. And like before I read her bio, I have to tell you how I met Jocelyn and why she's important to me.
I met her in the days when I was in, um, DC and living my best, my best child-free life smoking, weed, drinking martinis, playing volleyball. And we met through, um, an ex. And the interesting thing about Jocelyn is like, she's been very important to my spiritual path because Jocelyn Jocelyn was like, you know what, why don't you just go over here and take a yoga teacher training?
And I was like, what word? I could just do these things. And I did. And yoga was an integral part to, um, my spiritual path, because it introduced me to a lot of inspirational women and it helped me get in my body. A lot of my life I've been outside of my body and, um, I still sometimes struggle to stay in my body because of trauma, but yoga taught me how to get in my body and stay there.
And being intuitive, being psychic, working with different energies and entities being in your body is very important. It's where your discernment lies. It's where your wisdom lies. Yeah. Jocelyn very much helped me. So I pray that you enjoy this interview. I, I got a lot out of it in the sense of better understanding the importance of boundaries and how children help you with that.
Right. Her discussion around balance, being something that comes and goes, and you, you dance around it, but it's not, you know, it's never static. , and it's very interesting hearing about her daughters. There's a lot in this interview and I pray it blesses you, but I want to read this bio, so you have a better idea just , you know, How amazing Jocelyn is.
Jocelyn has been called a yoga rebel by, yoga journal. She's known for her joyful integration of dance, yoga and meditation called Hoopyogini and bhakti boogie yoga. She's also toured nationally with Wanderlust. She's a six time presenter at the Bali spirit festival. She's worked with Academy, award-winning actresses, Halle, Berry, and Marissa Tomei.
She's also been recently featured on Apple news as a meditation guide for the Essence Magazine virtual wellness house. She is the mother of two amazing Queens and an advocate for peaceful birth maternal and infant wellbeing. Jocelyn supports birthing people in upleveling their health before pregnancy, which is very important, very important.
Because you need your health to be right before you have dem babies or your teeth well, nevermind --let me, let me read-- as The Course Doula, Jocelyn coaches healers, and movement educators to create their first online course and teacher training programs. Her work supports women with fertility and embodiment and leadership.
And, you can like see more about her by visiting hoopyogini.com/links if you want to check her out while you're listening to her wisdom, and you can also schedule a 20 minute, free alignment session to explore one-on-one coaching.
Jocelyn's really amazing. And I pray that you enjoy this interview as much as I, I did doing it. I'll see you. After some intuitive wisdom, some simple ritual.
And then her interview, right? So you see soon peace.
Intuitive Wisdom & Simple Ritual
All right. Let's get started with this intuitive wisdom and this simple ritual, cause it's kind of been burning in my chest. So let's see what comes out. Right. We're gonna start with the ritual today. So whenever you hear this for the next few days, a week, at the very least do the best that you can to find simple, easy ways to pleasure yourself.
So you can pleasure yourself it says like three times a day, you can do something to bring some pleasure to yourself because you deserve pleasure. And there's a lot going on. There's still a lot going on. And there's also a lot of pain with what's going on because in many ways, a lot of us are losing a lot.
We're losing things societaly. Many of us are losing family members. A lot of us are losing friends. Relationships may not be what they were, the earth is changing. Our habits are changing and it's very important within all this change that you give yourself something to do sustain yourself,right?
Something sweet, something easy, something accessible, that you can give to yourself to sustain you, right? To nourish you, to help you be fully grounded, fully present, and fully engaged so that you can make the changes that you need to make for yourself and for your family. And allowing yourself simple pleasures, at least three times a day
also staves off behaviors that could be detrimental to your health and wellbeing. Detrimental things like, um, eating too much, drinking too much, doing anything in excess as a coping mechanism, um, for what's going on. In this space and time pleasure is very powerful medicine that we need to root into and utilize.
Now, when I say, um, pleasure yourself, it can look a variety of ways, but do things that make your body feel good, and ideally it's pleasureful so like, you know, unless you really get off on like exercise, maybe exercise isn't your thing. Maybe just sitting is your thing. Maybe, you know, putting on clothes that are extra comfortable, maybe going braless is your thing.
Maybe wrapping yourself in a blanket and just sitting there for a few minutes. Being wrapped and cocooned is your thing, whatever it is your thing to bring yourself pleasure sustainable pleasure. Now, three times a day, please do that. Please allow yourself pleasure. And if you, you know, you got the kids, bring them in on this, have them do something three times a day that brings them joy, brings them pleasure, brings them more fully into the present moment and into their bodies.
So if your kids like to dance or you guys like to dance together, this is a great time. If pleasure means drawing and making art, this is a great time. If pleasure means going outside and running around and splashing and mud puddles, or kicking a soccer ball or shooting a basketball, or just doing cartwheels or just being barefoot on the grass or going to a swing
allow it. It's very important that we all have a little bit of sweetness to help us digest this bitter because there's a lot of better medicine coming through, and there's a lot of other things that are important that need to happen now and pleasure lubricates it now is also a great time for mourning, although is not part of the ritual.
It's more a part of the wisdom we need to mourn. We need to mourn. We need to mourn, a lack of mourning, a lack of acknowledgement of, of what we're losing, what we've lost, what's causing us pain, prevents us from moving forward. If there's people you've lost to, COVID even adjacent to you please let a candle and mourn. It causes like some sort of spiritual backup cause some spirits feel like they need to be acknowledged. Yeah. They need to be acknowledged in this great transition of humanity and being seen for their part in it.
So like mourn, light a candle and be like, I feel sad that I have that this has passed. I feel sad that this person has passed, I feel sad that I have lost. Um, this may, it could be, it could be like a death of a friend, although that seems in the air. Um, it could also be like, I am mourning the death of the idea of sending kids to school and, you know, with the fear that they're not going to bring home COVID. I'm mourning, all the black life that has been lost. Mourn grieve, be sad, knowing that as you allow these emotions to flow, you're supporting your own health and wellbeing as well as the health and wellbeing, emotional wellbeing
of the planet, because we're all in this together. So, grieve. That was not what I expected. What else needs to be said? What else needs to be said is also right now, it's important to continue to do things that anchor you fully and completely in yourself and your own wisdom. We all have our own lane.
It's important that we understand what our lane is. And to stay in said lane because life often tries to pull us out of our lane. Life often tries to disconnect us from our own wisdom and the wisdom of the earth. And it's time for us very much to pull ourselves into our own body's wisdom into our own, like our soul's wisdom collectively and individually and into the wisdom of the earth because things are not what they seem at all.
They're not, and you might be feeling it already, but things are not. The truth is obscured and not quite apparent. And the motives are obscured and not quite apparent. And it's important for us to discern. It's important for us to practice some discernment about the things that we are told to do with ourselves, with our children, with our family, with each other.
Practice some discernment, practice, some research practice some my belly says yes, but my heart says no. And I have to take a second to figure it out. Especially as we head into spring and summer practice, some discernment check in with yourself before you decide to go anywhere and do anything because things aren't necessarily clear and apparent things
aren't, we're not being told everything and it's important to know that, and also rely on yourself in some ways, your own internal wisdom, not like, you know, in the community. I do everything myself, but like honor your own, your own wisdom.
Yes. Because that is how we're going to move forward. All of us kind of honoring our own wisdom, but still kind of allowing that to place us where we need to be. So we can be in harmony and community and move forward. That kind of you need to honor your own wisdom for that. All right. That's what needs to be said at the end of the day, if like none of this works find some pleasure for yourself, ideally three times a day, but Hey, do what you can do, what
you can pull your kids in on the pleasure, do something that's pleasureful for them, you know, jackpot will be something that's pleasureful for both of you guys. So if it's like, if that means we're gonna go hike together, or we're going to go mountain bike, whatever it is going to bake this cake and take it to grandma, whatever it is, pleasure for everybody where you live at least once a day, ideally thrice a day.
All right, let's get into this interview. See you on the back side.
Interview with Jocelyn Gordon
How are you?
Jocelyn: [00:14:44] I'm good. How are you?
Jeannette : [00:14:46] I'm doing alright. You're luminous.
Jocelyn: [00:14:53] Thank you. Uh, this is an extreme measure. I haven't been hydrating well.
Jeannette : [00:15:02] We're all doing the best we can these days..
You made this interesting post that I was like, Oh my God!
It had like your mom and Jordan and Sienna. And you talked about the directions on the medicine wheel and how you guys were the full medicine wheel.
And I kind of want to talk about like how your mother has influenced your spiritual path and how like you've kind of supported like your own girls and their spiritual path.
And because I just saw that and I was like, this is just.
Jocelyn: [00:15:35] Thank you I need to post more about that. And yes, my mom, I want to say like, my Mom is my Guru.
Um, so we know that we have actually learned a lot from each other through tension.
Jeannette : [00:15:52] Yeah.
Jocelyn: [00:15:52] So, yeah a lot of tension. Um, and, uh, definitely have more ease with each other now. We also have, you know, there's, you know, less dependency, more autonomy. Um,i.e. I am an adult and, um, however, it's interesting as the pendulum swings, like she's
definitely in her elder years. I saw her make that shift about two years ago when I moved back to the States from living overseas, Bali and New Zealand. And it was just , it was divine timing because as soon as we arrived, she, um, entered her a healing crisis that kind of lasted for a year and a half to two years.
And it was in that time that I looked up at one point, I was like, Oh my gosh, like my mom. It's like not elderly to the point, she's not like sedentary, but it's like, there was a shift and I was like, Oh my gosh, my mom is in her senior elderly stage, for sure.
Jeannette : [00:16:57] Yeah.
Jocelyn: [00:16:58] Yeah. So I'm seeing, you know, she doesn't need me in terms of her day-to-day, so to speak and she's in a really good, like she invested really well and she's in this like extended care facility currently in independent living.
It's got all the bells and whistles and it goes to end of life. And that happens to be 40 minutes up the road. Um, but emotional dependency has increased, um, and it's a balancing act for me , but it's, uh, well, I don't like the word balancing, but it's something that I Teeter on being that I'm, I'm a mother of a five-year-old and a 20 year old and my mom is 74.
So it's like attending to everyone's emotional needs, but most not, I'm going to say most importantly, mine, um, or just my needs because not from a selfish perspective, but from the lens of like, I have to yes, my sacred space, um, to be able to show up for anyone or anything in my life. So it's an interesting journey.
We definitely have made. Have we made peace? I think so. I mean, the activations that we used to have with each other, they are few and far between now and I've done my work so that they're less activating in myself.
Jeannette : [00:18:20] Yes.
Jocelyn: [00:18:20] Um, less like co-dependent reactions about what this means in terms of my self-worth and who I am. Um, and more like, I'm also able to just, just assert like, sometimes I don't need to say it, but I can just be like, yeah. That's her stuff. That's my stuff. It's all good. And I don't have to like, You know?
Jeannette : [00:18:40] Yes! I get it!
Jocelyn: [00:18:46] So my mom is my biggest teacher. Yeah. We've gone through a lot together but I think forever for such a long time, I was the child in the family. So even as an older child and then adult, it seems that my voice wasn't as potent as the matriarchy.
Jeannette : [00:19:11] Yeah,
Jocelyn: [00:19:13] yeah, yeah. So, but she was like, I hear everything that you say probably more than you realize, you know, I don't always agree with it, but I hear you. I was like, okay, that's literally where we are. As of Tuesday. April
Jeannette : [00:19:48] It makes things challenging when things with moms ain't right, to be the parent.
Jocelyn: [00:19:58] I, I think especially, I mean, I don't know. I mean, I know how it is with my dad, but we're pretty copacetic. It's just my mom and I. I think it's more so when you existed in someone's body, I mean again, I don't know what that relationship's like with like, um, a mother who's not a birth mother and that child, I don't know how that works, but just from my own experience of having lived in my mom's body and then having two other people live inside me, I think it's a bit more activational
Jeannette : [00:20:37] So like, let's talk about your spiritual practice. What does it look like?
Jocelyn: [00:20:41] Oh gosh. Well, you know it, I want to say it waxes and wanes in terms of the physical expression of did I light my sage or should I sit at my altar today kind of thing. Yeah. Um, But I also want to say it's ever-present, like when I just like look around my own space and I see, I mean it Sienna's teepee, but it's here a statement and the art and I got my girls back there and, you know, um, I got my medicine drum over here.
I don't know. I just, my spiritual practice is to embody. Just like being present that like I'm alive, um, I'm this, uh, medicine holder, um, my work, my professional work has a lot to do with the hoop. Um, that's probably what I'm kind of most known in the world for. If I were known in the world, it's for HoopYogini and that combines hula-hooping with yoga and meditation.
And really like when that modality descended upon me in 2008 or so, you know, like I could feel into the energetics of it and I could definitely feel into the physicality of it. It's really been over the last three years that it's been teaching me on different ways of what I've embodied. Like I almost don't, I don't really need the hoop as much.
Um, I mean, it's there as a physical fitness practice. However, to me, its overarching teacher is about sacred space. Um, compassion finding center, um, boundary setting, having a physical boundary. This is my space. This is your space. Like the teachings are so much more expanded. And so I feel like, although it's always ongoing, I just feel like I'm like just kind of orienting to where I feel centered and when I don't feel it.
And whether that be. Um, sitting at my desk or well desk anyway, the couch, the kitchen table, the floor,
Um, you know, picking up my kid, you know, even then moments where I'm like, you are so not in your center right now. Um, but like the moments of awareness, I just, they're just more so to me to answer your question, like my spiritual practice is an awareness practice, a consciousness practice. Um, that leads to living my life as a moving meditation.
And it doesn't always mean that I'm like Thai Zen with it. You know, it's nice when I am and I'm like, wow, oh girl, you are all right there.
You know, it's like, I dunno, it's it's present. So in terms of my, the rituals, um, yeah well, I weave my rituals into my, my commitments to the community that I space hold for, um, through hoop yogini. Um, and so there's this dynamic accountability that happens. So, um, I'm responsible in that space several times a week, teaching, um, leading online retreats and masterclasses and, um, guiding meditations, um, holding space for the teacher training.
So a lot of that will naturally include like the medicine wheel and my altars and things like that. Um, taking walks, that's part of my spiritual, I like, I wish it was sounded more exciting, but like it's okay. I mean, it needs to be like, in terms of my spiritual practice, when I lived in New York and my physical practice, it was like, I was taking dance classes at geneva dance and drum-like three to six times a week, like dancing, Samba, Martha Graham, Afro Haitian. That was my spiritual practice . I was going to church. I was doing Bible study. I was also in my twenties. I didn't have any kids. Um, I was in like, you know, a bustling city, everything was there.
Um, Yeah, I was going to yoga practice. I was in massage school, all of that. And then DC as well? Um, my spiritual practice, I was really, really, really into professionally the hands-on healing arts. So I was, um, giving massages, offering yoga therapy, teaching yoga classes.
Yeah. Hula Hooping all over town in DC Metro area. And every morning I was getting up at about 5: 30 or 6:00 AM. I was doing like a Lakshmi chant. I was doing like spinal movements, but my yoga practice then, because I was so physical was more like, literally, let me do some cat cows, some side arches thread the needle and legs up against the wall because like I was moving my body all day long and , I just needed a more restorative practice.
And then when I moved to California, um, estatic dance became more of my part of my life and being part of that community. Um, both in big Sur and San Francisco, lot of dancing, um, teaching at Eslan going to their workshops and generally being out in nature. Like if you're not out in nature in big Sur California, I don't really know what you're doing.
Um, Seriously. So nature immersion was my spiritual practice at the forefront in California. Um, and I was doing a lot of hoop yogini. Um, so there was a lot of downloads that I was receiving. Hoop Yogini has been part of a huge part of my spiritual practice. Fast forward to Bali Indonesia. We moved there on the eve of my eldest 13th birthday, and this was before Sienna was born.
Um, my spiritual practice. Then, Oh, my Lord have mercy was realizing
I had to have the spiritual practice because if there's any place that expresses it, spiritual practice, it is Bali, Indonesia. They practice Balinese Hinduism, and, uh, basically I just woke up one day, I was like, oh, they practice voodoo. Like it's just Island people steeped in nature. And so that mixed with the Hindu elements, um, and devotion, I mean all day long.
You will see people offering prayers, even whilst at work. Like that's part of your job. If you're a shopkeeper, if you're any person have a job in Bali and you are Balinese, you will be offering prayers all day long outside, you know? It wouldn't be like, you're not doing your job. If your boss walked in and saw you making the rice leaf, you know, uh, banana paper, you know, folding up the palms and rice and all that, you better put those things on the altars. Cause we anyway, so my point is observing this, massive bhakti this just culturally immersed expression of devotion that was hugely impactful. Um, and also being very sensitive, just tuning into like there's just prayers and things, flying all kinds of ways in there. And, and entities that, that, that.
That immersion in Bali over four and a half years, um, initiated consciously initiated me into, um, awareness of entities, um, through direct experience and also how to get rid of them and how to not attract them or at least
I can laugh now. But there were some moments, man. No. Yeah, Yeah. So prayer, um, but, and also, um, land acknowledgment and acknowledging the energy, the spirit of a place that's really hugely what Bali told me.
And I kind of chuckle, like when I see people it used to be more before COVID, but like this person who like, hey retreat in Bali in September. And I'm like, yeah, Um, like presuming or thinking they probably never been there. And just to me, just Bali is just not one of those places.
Like, unless you've gone there, that's been the Island saying yes, unless you've like connected with her, like in some just really, if you don't connect with her, she's going to connect with you. And if you're not conscious about it, you're going to get bitch slapped. I have seen this happen to myself and many, many others.
And so, yeah, I just kind of chuckle when I would see people just "join me in February". And like, you have to understand her energies because it's a highly transformational place. That's why we're drawn to it. It's very activational, which is why we're drawn to it. And if you don't know how to hold that field or honor that field, like not just you, but you gotta be able to honor the, how that field's going to affect the people in your retreat.
Um, and so I just, you know, Bali, nothing to fuck with and I bow down to her. And I know there's other places like that on the planet
Jeannette : [00:30:06] Hawaii is like that. I was told Hawaii would kick me off. I could go and stay three months.
Jocelyn: [00:30:13] Yeah, like you got to go now. And if you don't listen, and they're very similar.
Um, the Bali, the Bali fornia Hawaii is, you know, we, they, a lot of us kind of make that circuit. Yeah. Um, in that Pele energy there's like, there's either three or six volcanoes on Bali, something like that. It's crazy. So, yeah, that's what Bali told me. Respect taught me respect of the spiritual energies and the energy of a place, the , the land personality.
Yeah. So, and she, um, took me, she and she taught. That's what she does, like a shadow and light, like in equal measure. So, I mean, that's where I met my husband. Um, that's where I made my baby that I knew for 10 years prior was coming. Um, that's where I brought hoop yogini to an totally 'nother level. Like my career, my work became definitely more visible and on and on and on.
And it was where, like I was taken to the depth, like, uh, I went, had a dark night of the soul. For about three years, I was taken to the depths of my self, loathing. Um, my head was on the table a lot. Like it was just really intense. Um, and also magnificently beautiful. So here I am in Florida, I'm like, I'm good.
Well, once she kicked us off the Island, um, in a good way, um, and then I went to New Zealand , which is my, where my husband's from. We are currently separated. However, I mean, we're forever family and now New Zealand is part of my family too. Um, and so to feel welcomed there after definitely after what I received from Bali, I definitely felt like at least the South Island, um, has embraced me.
And I feel like there's an invitation back. I've been back twice. Um, Yeah. And I feel, I mean, I haven't totally like, I've definitely put my body on her. Um, and we've connected in different ways. Oh my gosh, especially castle Hills such magnificent place and yeah. Anyway, I just feel like we're good. Like, I can feel like we're good.
So in Florida, it's just been like, why? Okay, Florida, what? Back on the mainland I'm still tuning into the energy of where I am here. Um, However, I'm definitely, um, once I got into my first year, I started to meet like the light workers and like, we just keep popping out and around each other and be like, Oh, Hey, we're here.
Like, Hey, I'm here. You know? Cause it seems like it's pretty much like a retirement community where I live. Um, but it's a very attractive, lovely community and it's super it's affordable and stuff. Um, but it's definitely like an older population and kind of like a retired, um, what do you call it? A reserved kind of community. It's not like Ubud
Jeannette : [00:33:26] so like as, as a mother and having had these sort of various experiences with the earth and spirits on the earth and like being able to kind of stay in your own center and honor your own intuition, your own path, your own. How do you balance the sort of like these crazy times with COVID, especially with like Sienna and Jordan, like being able to maintain your center, but still like honor the integrity of the youth, but still figure out the sort of balance of protection and all that other stuff.
Jocelyn: [00:34:00] Hm. Well, excuse me, because I've been teaching online since 2011 and I continue to make rather, you know, big investments in that. Um, and that really expanded in 2014 when I moved to Bali. On just like a logistical level. Like, I mean, Oh, I work at home, like I'm location free, like, okay.
So I got it. You know, for me it wasn't a holiday. I know for people who are like, it's a holiday and they're still getting those unemployment checks, why do I need to go to work, blah, blah, blah. Um, but it wasn't like that for me, but I didn't have, it just wasn't dramatic for me. And it was like, okay. I mean, I already work at home.
Um, Jordan's in college and she was in New York city. So, um, where she is enrolled in college, now it's online, blah, blah, blah. So that was, you know, I feel for her that was very isolating. She already has kind of one of these like very introverted personalities, very discerning about the people she lets into her life.
She can lean a little bit too much towards the hermetic. Kind of thing. So for her and knowing that it was tricky, you know, I felt, I felt for her, for her journey and yeah, just like the hoop and the circle, like being there for her and praying for her, you know? Um, and also like she has, she's going through her experience, like not, not being like you're going through your experience, whatever, you know, you're alone, but just like how much could I.
I don't know, she's taught me in terms of energy management, because one of her superpowers is that she can affect a space with her mood. Um, except that was very, very intense. Because her moods were like very intense. And so I was like, when you master this, which she's still in the process of, but even as a young person, I mean, you, and you know, she, her mood probably, I don't know, If she ever oozed her mood in your space, she can ooze a mood and it's full on.
Yeah. So with her, even at a young age, I had to learn like boundaries. It's like, I'm here for you. I love you. You know, I'm mommy, you're my daughter, that kind of thing. And like, I don't need to show my alliance to you by joining you in that funk. Like. And I, I'm not gonna do that. Like I'm going to continue to nurture myself to live my life, to choose joy as much as I can in this moment.
And I hope you realize that, you know, me choosing joy and to be in a different state doesn't mean that I don't love you. So she's taught me that to do that. She'd have to speak herself on how that affects her. But, yeah, so I kind of that same approach, like how, you know, so I was like, pick up your guitar, make art.
This is like the most Epic time to get back into your writing and to journal, like all the arts going to your mat, your amazing artists, all the art is going to be like, I made this during COVID, you know, everything now is like post COVID, you know? So like, Do you like, do your art, make art and be your therapy.
And then with Sienna, I think she really loved it. Cause she was home with me all day. We were baking every day. I don't know any family got through it. I'm not sure exactly how we did as a solo mom cause, uh, or me as a solo parent. But. I don't seem to have time to bake right now, even though, but we were baking and I made it, um, I had my business expanded last year, professionally and financially.
So that was pretty awesome. Um, it seemed, you know, obviously, it was the right time for wellness and the right time to be black and then wellness to be black female, all of those things. Um, in terms of the insulation, I keep a field around. I mean, it's just working with the field energetics. Yeah. Like, well, why I did watch the, um, what is it?
The Ahmad Aubrey. Um, did you see that when he was thinking? Yeah. Okay. So anyway, I made the mistake of watching one thing on Instagram that was like, it did say sensitive content, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I look, I do that all the time as a birth worker, right. Because
Jeannette : [00:38:33] yeah, yeah. You have the head coming out. You're like, yeah, I see that c'mon let's go!.
Jocelyn: [00:38:39] I mean, it's like on all fours and the camera's right in her butt I'm like, okay. Yeah. Awesome for life. So amazing like, so I guess, I don't know that day I was just, I don't know, but I watched it and I was, I, I was traumatized, man. I was, yeah. I was traumatized. Um, and then it all kinda, and it hit a head on mother's day for me, where I was, I realized I had been in a state, a frozen state couldn't concentrate that week.
I was like in a free state, in my nervous system. So that also helped me with boundaries because I just, in my marriage, it's like, I have to be a guardian of my peace. I, you know, and that is the number one thing. So I have stronger boundaries, um, for that now. Um, because of that experience and being married
Jeannette : [00:39:28] thank you for saying that about being married, being a partnership, but you just like it. It's interesting to hear you say about like Jordan and oozing the mood and just being able to, I love you. I'm not going to do that with you and just being able to like, okay, so that's like the beginning of it
and just, I don't know, just the fact that she was able to help you with that.
Jocelyn: [00:39:51] I don't know. I don't think she realized that, but I tell her that now.
Jeannette : [00:39:58] And then being able to kind of even like hearing you just say, just like through COVID and being able to move forward and still having that boundary, that's just so that's amazing. Cause like I'm not quite sure people understand their own energetic boundaries and also how, like, you know, They affect others and how like, kind of like the little dance really happens and how we all participate in our own little dances.
Jocelyn: [00:40:27] Yep. I agree. It's an ongoing process. It's an ongoing journey. Um, and of like, yeah. Self-responsibility and boundary awareness, energetics. Um, lots of us. So I say a wide hoop of compassion for everyone.
Jeannette : [00:40:46] Yeah. So what Sienna brings you just like the energy of Bali, just being with her. Like I just imagined
Jocelyn: [00:40:57] she is very joyful and energetic and smart and lovely.
And, um, What do I learn from her? Gosh, well, I'll be real. Like right now I'm managing mom guilt because you know, it's like, I have been. Uh, I want to say strident, but that is not the word. I have been vigorously committed to living a different lifestyle. Not like I'm going to live a different lifestyle than most, but just like, I just like jobs don't fit on me
well, like being in this, like my arms, can't get into that at all. Projects, project consultant. Yes. can't do that. Um, So, however, as a CEO of my own business, which is pretty much a home-based business, that's where the bound, that's definitely where I'm tight. I have to tighten in my boundaries for sure. Over time management.
And I know does that exist? That could be another time,
I don't know but yeah, could just be easy. To physically be working all the time or often, or, you know, just, I mean the hours it's like, it just fit. I'm just like I'm fitting it in. Whether it get up at 5:00 AM. You know, have a seat until 5:30, do the thing. And then, you know, definitely until 2:40 and then I get the kid and sometimes it oozes into that and, you know, so that boundary, so that is definitely where I'm learning better boundaries.
And to really actually she's reminding me to play. And I have set some boundaries with her. I don't like playing Barbies and dolls and I've had lots of experience and I didn't like it as a child. And sure. Could I go to therapy and talk about this for sure. I could. However, I did not like playing Barbies as a child.
I don't like playing Barbies now, so I will tell you, I was like, I really, I will do this for five minutes. I love you Dearly and however it has nothing to do with you. I just, I don't enjoy this. Um, so, but that said, she definitely invites me to play and like, you know, art activity, books, music, dancing, mud pies outside, just so she's often like, come on, mom, let's go outside.
Um, I like that. That's super sweet. So. She is reminding me to play and to have better boundaries with both the physical dynamics of my work and the energetic space. Like just really when I'm with her to just say, I will get to that later to put it outside the hoop
Jeannette : [00:43:57] outside of the hoop..We are mupie-ingg now.
Jocelyn: [00:44:02] Yes, we are mud pieing now.
And this is exactly, this is the only thing that needs to be, be to happen right now. It's mud pieing. So that's literally what I'm personally learning.
Jeannette : [00:44:17] So like between Sienna and Jordan, like how have they both kind of changed your relationship with spirit? Cause talking to you about like, like the movement.
and like the creation of the hoop and the boundaries and learning to dance and all sorts of different things. But like, I kind of wonder because each child has like these gifts to kind of change your connection, how have they both changed your connection?
Jocelyn: [00:44:44] Hmm. That's a good question. I haven't looked at it like that before.
Um, I think what comes up is connecting with like their personalities in the womb. And just even realizing like that our personalities expresses themselves quite early on. Um, just the way Jordan, Jordan was like really chill, and still, just kind of how she is now. But however, if I was sitting in a position too long, she'd be like, Hey, elbowing, me kicking me and then I'd move around and she'd be really chill. Or she would actually alert me to emotional reactions or emotional triggers kind of before, um, and she'd be like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'd be like, Oh, Oh wow. Interesting. Yeah. Oh, my gosh and does Jordan, she is a tell it like it is personally like, and, and that's in terms of motherhood and relationship dynamic.
That's not that it's very different from my mom is, I mean, Jordan, she can't be disrespectful or like, Like, you know, especially in the ways that probably our moms, I didn't identify like disrespect. However she, like we have, and I won't say they're like woman to woman yet, but she'll tell me she be like, when you did or didn't do this.
She's very good at speaking her boundaries and like, cause I'll get on her some sometimes cause like she, she doesn't have a poker face at all and that's fine. It was just so I'm like, she'll just make a face and I'm like, dude, do you have to do that? Like every second she's like, mom, you can't like, you should know as a somatic therapist that I cannot control.
My physical reactions to like a trigger. So she's that one.
Good Lord. The sword of the sermon, that one. Um, I don't know. How does that relate to spirit? I mean, we're all teachers, so I don't, I that's all I have to say. And then it was Sienna's, um, womb personality. She was always moving and kicking drumming and she would have hiccups, like for the last three months she had had hiccups, like inside me all the time. And then when she came out, like literally like her limbs are always like moving,
I'm like, wow. And now she needs to be moving active. Stimulate me. She's curious about the world. Like Jordan's very contemplative and Sienna's very curious. Um, Sienna is very much, I'm here to live and Jordon's like if I get born one more time.
Jeannette : [00:47:42] Jordan is tired of our foolishness and our shenanigans,
Jocelyn: [00:47:45] Yes, she is just like, who do I have to talk to? I'm tired of this. We were looking at her pictures recently and her face was just, she's just always looked bewildered and we were talking to her like Jordan, I just, I realized now you were like, dang it born again. That's how she looked in all her baby pictures. It was like,
Jeannette : [00:48:12] Why am I here with these fools?
Jocelyn: [00:48:18] Jordon is like I need to graduate, uh, I need to be done with coming back to earth as a human, or just coming back to Earth. So she's pretty, she's not suicidal. She's just really clear on that. She's like, yeah I have done this and I'm good with not doing this again. So yeah. And Sienna is like, mom, I want to be a baby again. I want to come out of your Yoni again. I want to be born again. When I come back, are you going to be my mom again? Like, yeah.
Jeannette : [00:48:56] Wow. It's like night and day.
Jocelyn: [00:49:03] And I'm like do I have to come back. Okay. As long as I can bring all the wisdom and stuff and like with me, you know, don't, I don't want to come back trying to be woke again. Like just bring it all, you know? But, but it would be cool to like be done and like go graduate.
Jeannette : [00:49:22] So , what's been most helpful for you in terms of dancing with motherhood and spirituality and finding balance between the two.
Jocelyn: [00:49:29] Well, I don't, I don't actually look for balance. It's like a word, like, I just feel like the illusion around or the premise is like, you find something, you achieve it and like you stay there. And I just don't it's, it's a movement. It's a movement practice. It just. It is. And I have Jordan to tell me when I'm f-ing up, you know, and I have, Sienne to be like you're the best, you know, Sienna is really, she's just like it wasn't a month ago we were in the car.
She's like, I'm really glad I got a good mommy. And a good daddy. And she goes, and I don't know, she just came from her inner spirit and she was just like, because not everyone gets a good mommy and a good daddy. And I am just very happy that I did. Thank you. Hmm. So, and I said, so just want to honor and acknowledging you for realizing that, you know, and then I had, I had go on even though, then later, I was like, even though mommy and daddy aren't together, I'm so glad you know, that you can acknowledge that we're here for you.
And, you know, we got you. So yeah. So Sienna, just like you might be messing up. She doesn't know, she's just like, I'm here for, I'm here for it. I'm here for it.
Jeannette : [00:50:49] I just love this sort of dance between your daughters and how you've kind of been able to be in the middle of the hoop.
So I, yeah, I know you're busy. So I just wanted to thank you so much for your, time and , sharing your energy and your story with us. Thank you so much, Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: [00:51:04] Thanks and praises.
Jeannette : [00:51:06] I know there was a lot there. Everything from understanding boundaries, one child gives you medicine, the other child gives you sugar dancing in and out of balance, learning to take care of yourself so that you can support others and realizing that if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of nobody else.
There was a lot there. There's a lot of juice and I hope you received it. And that you were nourished by it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. If you want to learn more about Jocelyn, check out, hoopyogini.com. She also has like, a hoop yogini teacher, training that's enrolling now, if you want to check it out, um, And it's a mindfulness based trauma informed flow arts education program. So you can, you can check out that on, hoopyogini.com. Um, if you want to support me well thank you first for being here and listening cause that is support.
That is support in itself. So if you, you want to do a little more, go on over to simpleweeklyritual.com and subscribe, cause that is support. It's nice to share. It feels good to share. Um, yeah. And also be sure to share this with your friends, let your friends know what you be doing what you be listening to watching on the internet.
Um, you can also, um, slip me some change via PayPal, but do what you can do. I'm just thankful for you being here. All right. So I look forward to seeing you talking to you for the next episode. Stay blessed. Peace.