Spirituality & Motherhood Episode 6: Compassion

Peace and innumerable blessings. My name is Jeanette Lancien and welcome welcome welcome to the spirituality and motherhood podcast. In this podcast, we're going to explore different ways of honoring your spiritual path and divine connection all while being a mom. My intention here is to support your spiritual path and divine connection by sharing the wisdom and the experiences of other mothers who are on a spiritual path, just like you.

[00:00:26] I come to this podcast as a mother of two boys ages four and six, a psychic a root worker, hoodoo a tree talker and a herbalist. I am also  coming to you as an entrepreneur, I run a website called simple weekly ritual that offers simple ritual. On the full and new moon to support you and your kids and making the best of full and new moon energy.

[00:00:54] So let's dig into this episode, episode number six. So in this episode, I'll be offering you some intuitive wisdom and a simple ritual. We'll also be discussing, working your way through constraints, right? And the joys of embodiment , like, what is embodiment, how to get there, why you want to be there.

[00:01:16] That's what we do in this episode. 

[00:01:18] All these segments very nicely fit into the interview that's for the Aries new moon. So I'm really kind of tickled how Pisces all this Piscean goodness is just leading into Aries. Very excited. I'm very excited for you to hear the interview.

[00:01:34] Cause it was a lot of fun to do. It was a lot of fun to do. Anyway, you're here now. We're not in the future. We're here. So let's, let's dig into this episode.

[00:01:43] Segment Intuitive Wisdom & Simple Ritual

[00:01:48] uh, right. Intuitive wisdom and simple ritual. I don't know why  I'm singing so much lately. So the intuitive wisdom I  have to offer you is it just fits in with the theme of this episode is compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion, compassion, and rest. There is very much a need for like softness and kindness and compassion with ourselves.

[00:02:24] Because, you know, um, COVID aside, a lot of us, we don't have easy lives. A lot of us don't a lot of us, we're challenged. We're all challenged in different ways. And we all deserve a little bit of softness, a little bit of kindness, a little bit compassion and evolution does not happen for all of us

[00:02:51] cause I'm sure, you know, this is not true for everybody. Evolution does not always happen. And growth does not always happen. You know, cracking the proverbial, whip on yourself, saying, well, why am I not doing this better? It's like, Aye, aye, aye, when you find yourself stuck in something, or when you're in like a rut being harsh may not be what gets you out.

[00:03:17] Taking a deep breath, having some compassion for yourself, maybe backing off and giving yourself some space and creating space to kind of work yourself out. Maybe what gets you out. So in the light of compassion, in the light of kindness and the light of self-love. The ritual for this podcast, whenever you get there is to re-imagine yourself and the stories that you tell about yourself.

[00:03:49] We all have a story in our heart that we tell ourselves, and that we tell others it's time to edit those stories through a lens of a lot more compassion and kindness.

[00:04:15] That's right. It's important to be kind and compassionate with ourselves. Um, do your best to look at yourself with eyes that don't blame that don't seek to find fault that don't seek to punish, but instead see yourself with eyes that allow you compassion and allow you space to grow,  and that believe in you.

[00:04:39] Right? It's very important that we believe in ourselves and our ability to evolve. And to expand. Now, this does not negate any sense of personal accountability, personal responsibility, or the ability to just be like, Hey, I messed up, but yeah, you might've messed up, but as you messed up , you have the ability to  recognize that you did it  make some different decisions and  heal.

[00:05:10] So you don't do it again.

[00:05:15] So, I guess in short, the ritual  is about finding compassion for yourself and the places where, you know, maybe you didn't do the right thing. Maybe you could have done better. Maybe like this is a space for growth and evolution and realizing like, yeah, all those things are true, but it's. Okay

[00:05:37] not to beat yourself up for it. It's okay to see yourself as a person, constantly evolving and expanding to do better and to be better . And there's a part of me that also wants to be like, yeah. And they're like constructs that lead us in certain directions and blah, blah, blah. And rather than focus on those constructs rather than focusing on what our parents said, rather than focusing on what our teachers taught us and told us, and what society would have us to do, I would invite you to always come back in and focus on your ability to make different choices and be yourself despite all those things.

[00:06:19] Right. Because you always have the choice. You always have the power. You always have the ability, but you need to believe in it and having compassion for yourself, seeing yourself with kindness and love and empathy allows you to do that. So the exercise of whenever you get here, is to 

[00:06:43] rewrite your story that you tell yourself that you tell others with the eyes of compassion. The eyes of empathy, eyes of forgiveness all while knowing that , you have the power, the wisdom, the ability to make different decisions than you have in the past and that you're constantly evolving, expanding, exploring, and growing.

[00:07:12] And that's okay. That's that's what we're hearing these meat suits to do anyway. Right? We're all, we're all divinity expressing our souls are having different experiences and it's okay. Yeah. That's what wants to be said. See you in the  next segment.

[00:07:27] Working through constraints

[00:07:32]All right. So this segment, it's a little noodley, but please stay with me.  One of the things I've experienced being a mother and I think it's just might be, my nature is like being willing to expand out of things rather than  contract and settle into them, meaning, being in situations, where I'm feeling trapped, being in situations where I feel constrained being in situations where I feel like my expression is limited.

[00:08:01] And instead of  fighting those constraints, finding ways to kind of like, you know, like a muffin in a pan, like a muffin top, just kind of rise up and just mushroom out and do whatever I gotta do. So the rising and the mushrooming comes from a space of calling on the divinity within me, allowing the divinity within me to help me better understand

[00:08:29] the constraints so that I don't necessarily take the constraints personally and define myself by them. That would be as a black woman defining myself by the racist pictures shown at me. Like, Oh, well, you know, black women are angry and aggressive, so I must be no, I'm not really angry or aggressive. I do have anger, but the anger is because of XYZ, but that doesn't necessarily mean like, I am the essence of anger all the time.

[00:09:01] So not allowing things to impress on me, but rather me finding my way up and out  comes from understanding and knowing myself at the core as, as a divine expression, me personally, and like this comes from like you knowing yourself and knowing who you are and what you are and what your traits are, and kind of knowing your core frequency and essence.

[00:09:32] That can come from, remembering,  who you were as a kid who you were as, as a kid, what values have you always brought in life as you parent the littles? What values do you want to make sure that they grow up with? What things you want to make sure that they experience, what things are most important to you to share with them, those sorts of things help you discern who you are. If you're like, I don't know, like I feel lost in motherhood, which is another thing too. Like it's so fricking easy to get lost, lost under dinner and laundry and cleaning and schooling and work because it doesn't really always feel like there's a lot of space for yourself, but even within

[00:10:24] all those things to do. It's very important that you not forget who you are, because who you are is important, who you are as divine. And that divinity is in you to express in the world, needs it laundry. Yes. Underwear need to be clean and you know, those stains might set. It's going to be okay. People need to eat.

[00:10:52] People, Jesus Christ. They need to go to bed. Like things need to be done, but as you're doing them, notice how you do them and notice like the energy that you approach things with. And maybe if you feel lost, that will help you come back to yourself. Because even if you are like, you know, I don't know how to express or how this divine thing expresses through me.

[00:11:15] I don't know what the hell is going on. Like. As you do things pay to the pay attention to the energy. You do them with pay attention to the emotion that you do them with. And that will help you discern who you are. If you feel like you're lost, because it's so easy to get lost and women get just like steam roll and piled.

[00:11:36] We have stuff piled on us. We do, and we do a lot of heavy lifting. So come back to yourself and feel yourself. For me I do things with joy and if I can't do things with joy as super surly and cranky, cause I'm a very innately, joyful person. I like to laugh. I like to play. It's important to me that the children play it's important to me that the children laugh.

[00:12:06] It's important to me that the children have a good time and that I have a good time too. So that's how I know, like Joy's important to me and that I am joy. Um, so as you come back to these frequencies, as you understand these frequencies, that are residing in you, and that is the divine expressing through you, you come to a space, where you allow them to kind of flow because you understand them and you make the commitment to their expression through you.

[00:12:45] Right? And even though there's all these things that seemingly constrain them, all these things that have to do societal constraints, time constraints, money constraints, all these things that seem to kind of box you in your values will show you. How to navigate them in a way where you can kind of expand up and out of them and rather being rather than being constrained by them you just still express anyway, you still find yourself anyway.

[00:13:22] So like, if, if my innate value is joy and joy is  important to me, and joy is something I'm gonna stand by. I'm gonna find a way to. I'll find a way to joyfully do this laundry. I'm a find a way to make fun and light out of mopping the floor with children. I'm going to find a way of making light and fun of not being able to leave the house

[00:13:58] I'm gonna make light and find joy within the midst of fear and chaos. And it's a commitment. It's not necessarily something that, um, is not necessarily that something that's always easy to stick to, but it's something you come back to and when you don't do it, it's okay.

[00:14:17] The days I'm not joyful, like I get more information. That helps me get back to joy. So if I find myself like, you know, super yell-y, super yell-y, cause it happens. I get yell-y, I get to kick back and be like, okay, like I like to have fun and play. Why am I yelling? I get to ask myself, okay. Is there something that I need to see?

[00:14:42] Is there something that I didn't need to do? Is there something that's stuck in my tooth and I need to get it out? Like, what is it. So finding those moments where you're not expressing your values, and using those moments as like kind of fuel and guidance to kind of help you get to like a clearer, brighter, fuller expression of self of your values.

[00:15:05] So things don't have to confine you instead they can refine you. It can purify you, they can make you stronger. And this feels especially important in motherhood, right? Cause there's a certain tenacity and doggedness and like, like you got to stick with it,  cause people got to eat every day.

[00:15:32] butts need to be cleaned, you know, until they cleaned themselves. And that's like something that, you know, it does not stop until it does. And it's the same sort of thing with  these sort of ideas of being constrained around your divine expression, these constraints exist until they don't anymore.

[00:15:51] So it's important to find a way to kind of be nourished and understand more about yourself and understand more about the constraints rather than just kind of wallow and feeling constrained.

[00:16:10] Yeah. So it's also important. Like while, while you're dealing with this to deal with a lot of compassion, which kind of goes back to also the, um, the ritual, the ritual of this episode is having compassion for yourself. Again, and again, and again, forgiving yourself again and again and again, because like we're yeah.

[00:16:34] We're divinity expressing and flowing and lalala, but we're also  in these bodies. We're having this experience. It's not necessarily always easy to stay in a space of, you know, I am the divine expressing while my children are eating the glue . Like that's not easy.

[00:16:54] So, it's very important to consistently have compassion for yourself as you come back to things, you know, and like being yelly and being frustrated and being like, ah, God damn it. I don't want to cook today, but still having compassion for myself, knowing that I still choose to express the joy and the love that I am.

[00:17:15] But in this moment, yo. It's just clear that I need a nap. I need to take a walk. I need to go sit my butt down. I need to smoke a pipe like being, I guess, okay. With the moments that I'm not joy joyful, and I'm not expressing the divinity that I am and using those moments, it's information to get back to that divinity, to get back to that joy, to get back to like, okay, Oh, well I need to do this more or I need to do this less.

[00:17:42] Oh, like that really pissed me off and I need to say something about it. So, yeah, I think that's that.  At the root of this segment , it's a reminder that like, it's important to remember who you are and not to lose who you are and all these constraints and using these constraints as fuel, as information to not only remind you of what's important to you, but to help you choose it again.

[00:18:11] And again. And again and again, and to forgive yourself when you're not choosing it and to learn from when you don't choose it so that you can, come back and choose it and be in it and enjoy it. Yeah. Whatever you get from this, like just know it's going to be all right. The divine is in you. And even if you don't feel like you understand what that means or how that expresses, like just wanting to express it more, just wanting to lean into it, just wanting to give it space, allows it space. It allows it room to express and to become more apparent to you, right. Even if you don't understand what it is just being like, I will express this. I will be this, I will do this again. And again, I will choose this and setting the intention. You'll get to it. You'll get to it.

[00:19:18] All right. That's that.I'll see you in the next segment.

[00:19:23] Embodiment

[00:19:28]  All right here we are. So for this segment, I'm going to talk about embodiment, the importance of embodiment and like , little tips and tricks and how to be more embodied. First of all, what the hell is embodiment? Embodiment is being fully and completely in your body. Fully engaged in the relationship and the dance and the conversation that is life in your body.

[00:20:01] Meaning when you're toes have something to say about like your shoes or how you're standing, you hear it, you don't necessarily need a bunion to form. You're like, aye, something's off. And if it's in my toes, that means it's in my ankles, knees and back and hips. And I need to figure this out .

[00:20:25] Embodiment means like you're in, you're in full on present relationship with your body and you're willing to hear it. You're willing to hear its wisdom. You're willing to take care of it. A lot of us live in our mind and sometimes in our heart and our emotions, but  we have this body, right?

[00:20:43] We're in this body. Our souls are in this, this amazing body. And it's important to fully engage our bodies. Our bodies hold our wisdom. They hold our power. They hold our connection to mother earth.

[00:21:01] They house our spirit. They, they offer protection and discernment because there's a lot of things going on out here outside of just what we see, what we hear and what we feel. And we consciously may not know it, but our body knows it. Our body knows. And that's why it's so important to be fully in the body, fully engaged in the body.

[00:21:27] Right. When we're in our bodies, when we're fully embodied, we naturally have this connection with earth and with spirit that we don't have to, to work for. Cause it's naturally how we are wired, but we need to get in our bodies and cultivate the relationship with our bodies and the communication. So we can do that.

[00:21:53] Right. So, how do you know when you're embodied? You know, when you're embodied, when your body tells you things and you're able to listen when you are hurt, starts beating quickly during a conversation. And you know, either like, Oh, I'm feeling this person, or you're like, nah  this is, this is not the get down and it's time for me to go.

[00:22:20] And your heart told you, like, (no) or yay. But you're able to discern it right? When you feel your stomach gurgle. And you're like, well, you know, I was about to do this and me and the kids, you know, we're not feeling it no more, so we're not. When   you're about to obligate for something, say like, I'm going to make, I'm gonna take on this commitment and your shoulders get heavy, or your neck pinches and it's like

[00:22:49] you know what, let me think about this. I'm not quite sure it's it.

[00:22:55] When you are going somewhere and you feel your skin just says, no, it starts to itch. It gets cold or tightens in a way where you're like, this space is not safe for us. We need to go. This is how you're like, this is just ways your body will communicate with you and keep you safe and guide you and protect you

[00:23:21] if you are embodied, if you are listening to it, if you are engaged in it and your body discerns, it has its own sort of spiritual radar. Yes. But also like it's, once again, it's in communication with the earth, like your soul almighty is in it. And it's connected to the divine with like above, within an all around.

[00:23:43] So we very much need to be fully and completely in our bodies, but at the same time, give ourselves grace and compassion as we journey from the mind more fully into the body, because a lot of us were not taught to be in our bodies. A lot of us were taught to be rational, analytical, and deal more in the mind .

[00:24:10] Yes. It's good to be analytical. It's good to be rational, but things need to happen more in balance and balance. It's good to be like, okay. So I'm receiving this, you know, this feeling in my heart and like, I don't know if that's trauma. I don't know if my heart's trying to tell, tell me something it's good to use your mind.

[00:24:31] Because usually when my heart does this, you know, I go off on some BS, you know, it's good to use your mind, but like, you know, you need your body too. So, it's really fun to talk about being in your body and getting out of your mind when it feels like there's so much to do. And there's just a lot going on in life.

[00:24:56] So like when all these things are going on, how do you get in your body? How do you cultivate a deeper relationship with your body? How do you get in to embodiment? So, listen, this kind of goes back to the other segment and in also prepares you for this interview with Liz. I swear like these segments are all like prep for her interview. You prepare a relationship with your body by like making the commitment and setting the intention. Right. And holding the space and realizing like there is more space in the day to cultivate relationship with your body than you think, because you're with your body all day. It's simple, you know, when you're in the shower or getting out of the shower, you know, touch yourself as you wash, of course you're washing and touching yourself, but like touch yourself and say, thank you body.

[00:25:48] Gratitude is always a great way to start cultivating a relationship. It opens it up  beautifully, touch yourself. Say thank you body. Thank you body for, you know, housing, my spirit and keeping me here safe. You're here. It's a blessing. Thank your body because your body is carrying your  spirit and keeping you here.

[00:26:05] So start by thanking your body. That's one way to do it one way to start cultivating that relationship with your body, and then when you're putting on lotion or oils or whatever you put on, just, you know, Put it on, in a loving way. Be like, I love you body. Thank you for being here. Thank you for allowing me to be here.

[00:26:23] Thank you for keeping me safe here. Again, gratitude and love. Create space to listen to your body. Create space. Like one of the things I like to do is before I drift off to sleep, I keep my hands on my heart and I just listen. I listen to myself. I listen to my body. You could do that before you go to sleep.

[00:26:45] You can do that a few minutes before you wake up, notice the difference between your mind running off, because your mind will run off. But what you're not looking for is the thought you're looking for the feeling. So you can also just set timers throughout the day, just to breathe, breathe and, feel, breathe, and bring your awareness to your belly, breathe and bring your awareness to your hips.

[00:27:15] Breathe and bring your awareness to your spine, to your shoulders, breathe and bring your awareness to your knees to your feet. Just bring your awareness into your body and see what's going on

[00:27:35] another way to do it. And all these practices take like three to five minutes. It's okay to let the children chill for three to five minutes. It's okay. While you're in that zoom call, it's just kind of for three to five minutes, pull your intention interior and, and check in with your belly.

[00:27:56] Check in with your hips on the seat. Check in with your knees, check in with your feet. Make sure you're feeling them. Wiggle your toes. See how your toes feel. Do they feel stiff? Do they feel fluid? How are your knees? How are your hips? How are your shoulders? How's your neck. How's your belly. Just take a few minutes and multiple times a day, but at least like twice did just check in with your body, set a reminder, and it doesn't have to be hard and even if 

[00:28:29] that's not work like working. Just focus on your feet. Focus on your feet. Notice how your feet feel on the floor. Notice how your feet feel in your socks. Just notice and start with your feet, your feet, have like portals that connect down to the earth. That's where one of your roots are some of your roots.

[00:28:54] So connecting with your feet allows you to connect more deeply with the earth.  It allows you to descend more fully into your body. So yeah, if you can't make it to the belly and the hips, just start with the feet and again, like practices such as dancing, yoga Tai Chi Qigong.

[00:29:17] I probably said it wrong. If I disrespected anybody by saying it wrong. I'm sorry. Those are all practices. that will bring you in your body, shoot running. We'll bring you in your body. If you do it mindfully, getting in nature with your children will bring you in your body and don't march through nature. Take a second to feel your feet on the path or wherever you're walking.

[00:29:45] Take a second to feel the light and the wind on your skin. Take a second to smell. Don't just march into nature, like experience it while you're there and, and, and bring your awareness to how your children are experiencing it too. Playing with children will bring you in your body because you have to be fully aware .

[00:30:07] Um, and as you're doing these things, if you forget, it's okay. We're trained to stay in our minds and, and things are very stressful, but a great way of handling stress is coming into the body because coming into the body brings you into the present moment and allows you to understand, even though there's a lot going on around you, you have yourself in the here and now.

[00:30:36] And in this moment, all is in this moment. Okay. Right. And even though your mind might be doing whatever your body is here and it's got you, you've got like you and your body. It got you. Right. So all is well

[00:31:00]that's that, it's very, very important. Our evolution as a species is very rooted in our ability to be in our body and connected with our souls and earth and being able to discern, and we're not going to be able to discern and navigate the energies around us as they change as they evolve as they shift, if we're not fully in our body.

[00:31:28] So it's very important that we figure out our relationship with our body and how to inhabit it more fully and also model that for our children. So our children naturally are more able to balance what goes on in their head and what goes on in their body. So

[00:31:48] they have more of their tools at hand, rather than just being stuck in their head.

[00:31:55]and that's all that needs to be said. 

In Closing
[00:31:58] All right. If you get nothing being out of this podcast, I pray. I pray. I pray that you find more compassion for yourself, that you find space in the ability to look at yourself in the present moment, in the past moment and going forward with more softness, more compassion, more kindness, the kindness and the compassion and the understanding that we

[00:32:23] give to ourselves, we have to give to others. And no matter what other path others take, whether we appreciate it or not, whether we're with it or not everybody deserves a little compassion. It's missing in the world. All right. Thank you so much for being here. If you want to support me, head on over to simpleweeklyritual.com for full moon and new moon ritual for you and the children.

[00:32:47] You hear  mine. Get some for yours or,  you can support me via PayPal at Paypal.me/ritualmama. It is all in this show notes, I look forward to talking to you again soon. Stay blessed. Peace.

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