Spirituality & Motherhood Ep 21: Busting Out

Episode 21

[00:00:00] Jeannette: Peace innumerable blessings and welcome. Welcome. Welcome to the spirituality and motherhood podcast, where we reside in that sacred space where spirituality meets motherhood in this space we'll explore everything from how ancestral and earth based spiritual paths and practices, shape motherhood to how having spiritual gifts impacts your experience 

[00:00:21] as a mother. I'm Jeannette, your hostess. I'm the mother of two boys,a Hoodoo a psychic, a tree talker and a lay herbalist. Thank you so much for being here with me, for listening, for riding with me, let's dig in on, into this episode. So I warned you last episode, we'd have an episode of me talking the mess, that my ancestors said I needed to talk. 

[00:00:48] So let's get started. This is like my little new year's I guess, confessional check-in I'm just letting you know what's been going on with me. It's been a lot of growth, which is not always the most fun and easy thing. Um, I've been really challenged to move from a different space of internal guidance. 

[00:01:18] Not just internal guidance, but external guidance. I'll get to the external part. So like internally I have been challenged to be aware when I'm moving from unhealed parts of self parts of me that are engaging in things that I need to extract myself out of. 

[00:01:40] Um, I, I remember talking about like, you know, having ancestors that love ruckus, there's a part of me that likes ruckus too. you know, it didn't come from nothing. So just being more aware when I'm moving from unhealed parts of myself and when I'm moving in a space, thats more divinely guided and divinely connected, even when it's fricking scary. 

[00:02:05] And let me tell you, it's very scary. It is very scary cause I have have habitual ways of being and doing. And just because I know it is the right thing to grow and to expand and to do better and be better for myself and for the babies. It doesn't mean it's the easiest thing to do. It's been a challenge to cultivate a willingness to kind of hear and feel things out and ride the wave and see 

[00:02:36] what is really true for me rather than just kind of popping off because I have a tendency to want to pop off. I am a pop offer. That doesn't mean I'm a straight, like, you know, not in the streets, cussing people out, but I usually like to move with my first, my first feeling, my first gut, my, but the thing about it is, is I'm a person who feels deeply and feels 

[00:03:03] I wouldn't say slowly but deeply. And when I'm given a chance to actually chew on something and I don't, um, initially act on the first thing that comes to me, things move differently. So I'm being challenged to slow down and feel all my feelings, which is not necessarily flowing with what society has us doing. 

[00:03:30] You know, even in France, which is slower than America, there's like the sort of push. It's like a push to be an ant marching here. And I don't know if it's like that in the south. I just know like I'm around Paris and it's, it's, it's a drive, it's a drum beat and it's very against the way I do. And I be but you know, as I 

[00:03:52] am willing to feel as I'm willing to dig down and process much more slowly. I find myself cultivating courage to allow the more suppressed aspects of myself to emerge and find their expression. One of the interesting things that popped up for me last year in therapy was the fact that I was that I'm Queer. 

[00:04:15] And that, that, that's a part of me that I have. I've always known about it, but I've suppressed the hell out of it. And now that I'm 44 and my marriage is dissolving. It's like, oh, okay. So what am I going to do with this part? What does this look like? What does expression look like where does it lead me? 

[00:04:34] Where does it guide me? So in, processing the feelings all around this aspect of self that has been suppressed, that is like, okay, I'm ready to go. Let's go, come on. Let's go. Let's go. I'm very excited to see how that comes, how it comes out, (drum high hat) how that works together. And as I allow , all these different parts of emerge and the flow also noticing the spirits around me. 

[00:05:00] First of all, the spirits around me, including my ancestors are mad supportive of all the sorts of internal and external changes and being willing to slow down and being able to listen more deeply and embrace parts of me that I haven't suppressed, which includes spiritual gifts too. So I've been very much supported, supported in ways 

[00:05:29] like I have never expected, supported by beings. I haven't necessarily cultivated relationship, but they over here showing up and out for me, like, Hey, we see you. It's all taken care of. You just need to have faith. It's been very interesting. So as, you know, the spirits around me, I would say they've changed, but they also have expanded. 

[00:05:55] There's, there's more of them, but I think there's more of them because I've been sorting through trauma. And now some of the gifts I have as a kid are popping up more, which I think I'll discuss more. I'll stick a pin in that and come back. But, um, yeah, but certain ancestors are not with me anymore and other ancestors are, and that's the interesting thing about being, you know, I guess being more, also willing to work with the fact that I'm queer, it's realizing there are ancestors who are like, you're going to express this when I didn't. 

[00:06:28] And I'm so proud of you. And I cannot wait to support you more in this. And then having ancestors who did express and they were like, Hey, we got you. We got you. And we cannot wait to support you in exploring and expressing this part of yourself. Yeah, but like with all these sort of changes, um, the way I've been working with spirit and different entities has also changed. 

[00:06:57] It has changed. It's become slower and based more on an internal recognition. Because I feel like the more I have. The more, I acknowledge things going on within me. And I acknowledged like the kind of internal stirring, because there's a difference between there's a difference between having outward signs of things, manifesting and things moving and just having the internal feeling. 

[00:07:25] They're both valid and they're both very important and they're both supportive, but I'm realizing for me, Particularly the power of acknowledging the inner feeling within me, like the inner feeling of like, okay, you know, in my, in my sacral chakra, and in my heart chakra I can feel the spirit that is beside me talking shit is a good spirit. 

[00:07:52] Like I could feel how he's connected to me and it's okay. I can feel where he came from and everything's cool. Versus me having to run to the ancestor, altar freak out and divine until I figured out who was, and they're like child calm down. Um, yeah. Being able to feel things more fully and completely in my body. 

[00:08:15] It's been exciting. It's been exciting, challenging and, more exciting. And that's also with spirit. That's mostly with spirits .With my ancestors they've been showing up, but they're there a lot more. They're quiet, but they're not. There are, there are signs, which have usually been voices have been things that are a lot more physical. 

[00:08:34] Like I woke up one morning, smelling my father, I woke up, I didn't wake up to this, but like I, like, I go to the ancestor altar and I don't have to wait to see signs of them. Like I don't have to ask them to show up. It's been very interesting to feel so... feel the signs and the stirrings of spirit as an internal experience, rather than an external phenomenon, it's been kind of, wild. Yeah, so outside of that, I, I talked, I touched on trauma, but the, the interesting thing about working on and still continuing to chew on this, this big honking bit of ancestral trauma, intergenerational trauma is It's still the challenge of compassion, right? It's it's challenge of having compassion for myself. Understanding if I'm moving from a traumatized space, I'm going to be working with energies that are either a, in the trauma trauma with me, or b support the ongoing of the trauma and having compassion for myself, but also having compassion for ancestors who 

[00:09:47] um, they have chance to grow out they trauma. They didn't have a chance to have like a therapist. They didn't have a chance to have some of the supports and access to things that I have. So continuing to have compassion for myself for not recognizing my hurt and and, and reliving it and recreating it and expanding it, but also having a lot of compassion for my ancestors and realizing like, there are some of them who are looking at me being like, oh shit, we should have done something different, but also looking at them. 

[00:10:22] But knowing like, they really kind of couldn't, they just couldn't have like the resources. I don't want to doubt them, but like, I also know that. Like, there's a difference between being, being in Richmond, Virginia, and like the forties around world war two versus like being outside of Paris, France in 2022 is different, different bananas, different bananas, different access, different whole bunch of other things. 

[00:10:56] And as bad as I think that I have it now, I did not, I did not have to fight the poll tax. I, I, the things that my grandmothers had. Okay. Let's, you know, we all know these things, but like in the, in the sense of trauma, like I just constantly need to remind myself to have compassion for myself, because the reason like I'm working through this, like, I've always been kind of chewing on it. 

[00:11:21] But like when my maternal grandmother tapped me, he was like, okay, it's time. And things started to actually move. But also like them, like they, they didn't have the support and the access that I do. Yes. And the more I clear and work through trauma, the more my abilities in some ways like these different parts come back to me and things get clearer and stronger. 

[00:11:45] And I have an understanding of why I didn't maintain them. Why as a child, it just, wasn't safe to do certain things. And why as a young adult, there was no space, there was just no space. And, and, you know, it's, it's a little, it's a little sad, but I also have compassion for myself because in any space, we're all doing. 

[00:12:13] I'm gonna say I'm doing generally the best I can and you know, that's all I got on that, but yeah, it just seems, it's been very interesting in this mercury retrograde and this Venus retrograde, and it's been a very intense time and working through all these things with children has been interesting. I feel like I should talk about the boys. 

[00:12:37] Cause I rarely talk about the boys on this podcast. I asked everybody about they, they, they gifts and they children. I ain't never talk about mine anyway. 

[00:12:48]  
 

[00:12:56] Jeannette:  
 

[00:12:56] So we fitting to talk about these children. Let's talk about these children. There are two boys ages, seven and five. So the eldest. The eldest is claircognziant meaning he just knows things that boy just knows things. 

[00:13:14] And he psychic he's a dreamer. When I, as a kid, I was a dreamer too. I used to have all sorts of dreams and know things and feel things and see spirits. I'm waiting for him to see spirits. He's had dreams where spirits have visited him and that's been interesting. Um, But yeah, he's psychic claircognziant and clairsentient. 

[00:13:41] Meaning if it's in the environment, he knows about it. And he doesn't know about it because he knows with his mind or a little birdie told him he knows it through his body because he's super physical. Super grounded, super physical, super grounded. The second one, the youngest. Um, I'm still trying to discern some of the things going on with him, but I know he's clairsentient, at the very least he is clairsentient. 

[00:14:09] And like, I don't know the word empath yeah, it doesn't make me feel good. He's very, he can, he discerns what people are feeling. He discerns what people are feeling and, and, and very much like his brother tries to balance things out, which is something we got to work on, but, you know, it's all a process. First of all, how am I nurturing these children? 

[00:14:34] I am nurturing them by acknowledging and affirming everything they come to me with. So like if dreams are shared with me, like the oldest decides to share his dreams, I affirm them and say like, what do you think this means? And then I say, well, this mommy thinks, but what do you think? Um, when he comes to me with what he's like, sometimes it's not like he's coming to me with what he feels, things just pop out his mouth. 

[00:15:05] And it's about affirming those things. It's about affirming the intuitive psychic clair- function whenever it pops up. And, um, for both of them, acknowledging it and especially acknowledging their emotions and what they're feeling and what they feel is going on honoring that, um, 

[00:15:32] And also one of the things, one of the places I would like to grow in, in sort of nurturing their their intuitive and psychic capabilities is having them ground into their body and honor what their body tells them to them about a place. It tells them like the vibes that they're feeling of a place, whether this is a good place for them to be, whether there's a better place to be, how they feel. 

[00:15:59] Um, there's been some play with that around the eld- with the eldest um, often often with him, the case is understanding whether all that energy or all that he's feeling is actually him. 

[00:16:13] 'cause kids can absorb and it's important to make. For me, it's important to make sure that things that are in his body are actually his cause. It's so easy for kids to absorb. And when things, when whatever is in his body, isn't him asking him to send it away and doing the best as I can as a mother, to recognize when he seems out of himself or not acting himself. 

[00:16:41] The second one is, is different, is different. Um, his emotions are accessible, but not in the same way. So I'm still trying to figure out how to nurture him a little more. So, yeah, it's been interesting doing all this molting, um, with children who already know what's going on. They already know they already feel it. 

[00:17:12] And that's the thing that can be challenging with children that already know is that there's nothing you can't hide anything from them. A and B how do you give a, um, the explanation that is clear that it's true and age appropriate that honors what's going on with what you're going through, but also like honors. 

[00:17:37] Like if there's a partner involved, you know, the partner too. Cause I feel like quite often kids have these senses and they know things, but adults are sitting around acting like they dumb, at least that's what I got as a kid. Like it was like, I'm not dumb. 

[00:17:57] Yeah. So it's, it's been interesting going through things and watching them. And also as, as children who are clairsenteint and absorbing their environment and taking on. A, because that's what children do. And B, because like, you know, they're spiritually gifted and this is their act, their spiritual gifts and action. 

[00:18:17] It's been like more and more imperative to work through the ways I am broken because it's saddens me and it's hurt. It hurts me to watch similar trauma play out with them to see them doing the same things that I did as a child. It's been, it's been very much a trial by fire over here because it's like, oh God, that's me at five. 

[00:18:47] Damn it that's me. It's seven. Oh my God. That is me as a child. And, um, yeah, it's been interesting also knowing that as I continue to unearth parts of my expression and parts of my gifts, like they will feel. More empowered to do the same for themselves, but yeah, it's the painful thing to watch. So, um, my strategy has just been to affirm their intuition, not shut down their emotions, let them know what they're feeling is real, um, and, and, and create spaces for their feelings to flow. 

[00:19:29] And, and, you know, I look kind of forward to. Yeah, to doing more of that work and asking them how, getting them more deeply in their bodies. The first one does not need a problem getting deep. He's not, he is so in his body, Lord, actually, both of them are really in their body. Um, there's just some stuff going on. 

[00:19:51] Um, also finding that as, as you know, Gifts kind of come back and shift finding tools and ways to work, where I can better understand as a parent, how to nurture and nourish them leading into leaning into things like astrology and human design, um, to have a deeper understanding of how, how as the family we work together and what I need to make sure. 

[00:20:25] I learn and, and, and, and pass down what I need to make sure like things get right. So they have a better time and an easier start at things than I did. Yeah. So that's that this is a short episode because I'm not quite sure how to talk about my business., yeah, I'm not sure I would talk about my business, but it feels like some of this stuff needs to be said, and it's, it's been kind of on my heart to say. 

[00:20:53] So we have some interviews coming up. I'm not going to talk about them this time, because last time I talked about them and they went, so y'all just gonna have to tune in. See what's shaking. Thank you so much for being here and thank you for riding with me. If you want, if you, again, if you'd like you have questions, something you want me to tackle on this podcast, get at me at spiritualityandmotherhoodpodcast.com. 

[00:21:18] You can also head over to Instagram and get at me and spirituality underscore motherhood, underscore pod and hop on in my DDMs. Yeah, it goes down in the DMS. I still have to get used to that, but it does go down in the DMS. Um, again, thank you so much for supporting me. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode and, uh, stay blessed. 

[00:21:43] Peace.